And now looking at it, I can't really tell the difference between all these young girls, we just looked like young girls. And it's been really interesting going through those older photos and seeing how much all of that was just my own self comparison. And yeah, and I remember looking at that photo at that age, and just thinking how much bigger and more disgusting and that sort of thing that I looked at compared to the others. ![]() And I remember looking at that photo, and we're all wearing crop tops, and we were all just like, have our arms over each other. I remember I photo of a relay team that as part of like the, like the AC T relay team when we went to compete at the nationals. And I didn't, you know, I couldn't show my body because I was too fat. And they should be confident because they had these tiny skinny bodies. And while the other girls started wearing the crop tops, and the briefs and that sort of thing to running camps, and I yeah, I would remember really comparing my my body to theirs and always thinking that I looked Poggio or like, I was too fat or like that these girls had this confidence, and they had this. I, in particular, I would remember, I would always be the kid with the big baggy T shirts and the baggy shorts. I started noticing that I was very self conscious about my body. It crept into how she perceived the one thing Trina could never outrun: her own body. That race really required me to be Yeah.īut this anxiety didn't just affect social situations or races. I was I was more nervous for a race than that. And even like in my athletic career, like those early days, I had a lot of trouble with like prerace anxiety. And, yeah, I think just through school, I really realised that I was having a lot of trouble talking in class, I was having a lot of trouble. So I sort of realised that like, I wasn't just quiet though, I had some real social anxiety. ![]() What I was experiencing wasn't just that I was quiet, I would have a lot of problems in social situations and or situations where I would have to speak in public and that sort of thing. I think I was always in some way knew that. She wasn't just shy, there was something more to it. She's contributed to my future success.Īs the primary school years past, Trina began to accept something about herself, something that she never grew out of. And so she taught me that like that proper, like, spin technique in the in the circle. And so she taught me so her influence on my athletic career was actually taught me how to throw a shotput or, like put a shot board or whatever you call it. And my mom always talks about how she was a champion sharpshooter in her high school. And then, yeah, you go get your ice cream and go home. And then, but it was it was very much just like, a fun Saturday morning, casual thing with my mom would volunteer with, with all of the events and that sort of thing. And so I remember a lot of my memories are around like running the 100 metres and then writing little times down and collecting these tickets. We would have as little tickets where you would write your PBs and you had like a little front pocket and you would put them in there. It also meant precious time with her mum, Xiao Jing. ![]() Saturday mornings in the Canberra summer meant little athletics, a routine Trina grew to absolutely love. I think a lot of my report cards and that sort of thing would say that I was incredibly shy to the point where it was very hard to get me to do like to say anything in class, but like I was still really high high achiever one of those, one of those kids, you know, the kid in class that's like get straight A's but doesn't say a word like that. Let's go back to where it all began with a young, introverted girl who would do anything to avoid the spotlight.Īs a kid, I think people would describe me as really shy. It's been messy, sometimes painful, and sometimes incredibly lonely. However, Trina's journey has been anything but straightforward. She's also an Olympian, and three time national champion. Catriona Bisset, or Trina, as she likes to be called, is the fastest Australian woman to ever run the 800 metres. This episode is about becoming friends with your anxiety. Welcome to Not Alone, incredible stories from everyday Australians talking about their mental health to help you with yours. I wasn't mentally strong enough to starve myself to be skinny enough to be able to run as well as these other girls like I wasn't mentally strong enough to just put these anxieties aside and compete on rice. ![]() I distinctly remember saying that I felt like I was never going to be able to make it as a runner up because I wasn't mentally strong enough. If this brings up distressing feelings for you, please contact the Beyond Blue support service. This episode features a personal story of mental health and contains themes of suicide.
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